A lot of my writing friends are either writing memoirs or fictionalizing their life stories in novels. I think it’s an age thing. Most of us are over fifty. The truth is, I’ve considered joining their “memoir club.” I’ve gone as far as to attend memoir courses at conferences. But I’ve never put pen to paper, mainly because, although I love my life, it’s pretty tame. I’m not a celebrity. I don’t have an addiction. Though I’m proud of my accomplishments, if I listed them, you wouldn’t say, “Wow! I can’t believe that! That’s insane. I’ve never…” No matter how you slice it, my life isn’t newsworthy, and because of that, I’ve always believed that my personal story isn’t worthy of being documented. But am I selling myself short? Aren’t all lives important? I believe they are, but I’m not sure all lives are entertaining.

            But isn’t it the writer’s job to make simple, ordinary things interesting to readers?

            Yes. It most definitely is.

 So, to answer my own question…Yes, you can write a memoir if you’ve led an ordinary life, but you’ve got your work cut out for you. You can’t just name-drop famous friends. You can’t fall back on your accolades and awards. You can’t rely on shock value to sell your book. But what you can do is write a story that will resonate with readers emotionally and make people think.

            So how do you do that? Below is my ordinary person memoir strategy.

1. You write your memory like you would a novel. This means that you use novel craft techniques to keep readers interested. You set scenes. You write from a consistent POV. You have seen and story goals. You think about structure. You use dialogue. You focus on plot and structure. You don’t just tell your life story chronologically and hope people will find it engaging. Bottomline, you put in the work.
2. You determine what your theme is. Rosie O’Donnell’s memoir, Find Me, explores her experiences with adoption.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jackie Goldscheider, chronicles her eating disorder struggles in her memoir The Weight of Beautiful. The memoir The Glass Castle by Jennette Walls depicts her life with her free-spirited, dysfunctional nomad family. What I’m saying is that it helps if a memoir has a specific focus and doesn’t just describe major life events.
3. You get real with yourself and go deep. If you want readers to connect with your story, you have to be prepared to be honest with yourself emotionally and show your whole self, even your pimples and warts. Think Matthew Perry’s memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing. Don’t play it safe or hold back.
4. You make readers feel as if they’re right there with you. Details are key. I have a writing friend who is fictionalizing her life and writing about coming of age in Los Angeles in the 1970s as an Asian American. She goes so far as to describe the headgear she wore to fix her teeth and the bowl haircut her mom gave her as she leaned over the kitchen sink. We hear Elton John’s music and cough on the smog. Her story is a real descriptive winner. Yours can be, too. Put us there so we can imagine the daily nuances of your life.
5. You know why you’re writing your memoir. Are you writing to educate, to entertain, or so that your granddaughter will have a sense of your life? Maybe it’s all three. My point is knowing the “why of it all” will affect the creative choices that you make throughout the writing process. If you are writing for your grandmother, you might want to cut that sexy honeymoon scene, but if you want to help women build stronger relationships with their significant others, you’ll probably choose to keep it in.
6. You make ordinary things feel important…things like kissing a cute boy, getting your braces off, finding that perfect first-day-of-school dress, and being annoyed by parents. How do you do this? You explain why they mattered to you and how these events impacted and changed you. Think of the 2017 coming-of-age film Lady Bird, a story about a girl who has to leave home to appreciate her parents and life. Most of us have been in this same self-absorbed resentment headspace, but the film evokes memories and gently reminds us of the importance of family and roots. FYI, Lady Bird is rated 99% by viewers on Rotten Tomatoes. This film’s success inspires the ordinary me to share my story. Check it out.
7. You discern what makes your story unique. If you attempt to pitch your average Joe or Joe Ann memoir to an agent or editor, they might not see its salability. It’s up to you to discern what is unique and special about your life story and what sets it apart. Honing in on its unique angle will be important should you pitch to traditional publishes and agents or should you go the self-publishing route and market your book yourself down the road. It will also motivate you while you’re writing to be braver and more authentic.

I hope these tips help. I’ve noted some ‘normal people’ memoirs below. Thanks for reading! If you’ve written a memoir and have some additional tips, I’d love to hear from you. If you have a favorite memoir, please share that too.

Smile by Raina Telgemeier

Trailer Trash and 80’s Memoir by Angie Cavallari

Educated by Tara Westover

Wild—a Journey from Lost to Found by Cheryl Strayed