When I first started writing, I did all the craft-honing things that new writers do. I read dozens of books on novel writing. I religiously attended critique and local groups featuring seasoned published authors. I went to conferences and took creative writing classes.  Doing all of this made me eager, excited, and passionate about writing and the publishing industry. And because of this, I completed novels. I wrote seven of them. You see, I believed that writing a ton and consistently would make me a better writer. And I think this did happen. But what didn’t happen was a writing career.

 I had little wins. I won awards for submissions at writing conferences. I got an agent, who unfortunately passed away before submitting my novel to publishers, and I published a few short stories and a novel via a hybrid publisher. But I wanted more than that. The problem was, I didn’t know how to get it. I felt powerless. It didn’t seem to matter how well I wrote or how hard I worked. It seemed that there were other forces at play here. I blamed the gate-keeping aspect of the publishing industry. What I didn’t realize was that the force keeping me from success was me.

I remember going to the New York Pitch Conference, cornering an editor who’d read some of my pages and begging her to be brutally honest with me. “Is what I’m submitting good enough?” I asked. “Is this publishable? Or do I still have some work to do?”

She patiently reassured me that I was where I needed to be. That my writing and story were strong, and that what I needed was persistence and patience. That I shouldn’t give up.

I left the NY Pitch conference feeling somewhat hopeful, and because of this, I continued to write. About this time, I was prepping for a trip to New Hampshire. The relatives I planned to visit were avid hikers. I feared that if I didn’t start getting some steps in, I wouldn’t be able to keep up with them on the trails. So, I bought AirPods and a new pair of Hoka sneakers, and I started walking daily. To combat boredom, I began listening to podcasts during my afternoon treks. One day, I happened upon a confidence podcast, cued it up, and listened. For the next several months, I listened to confidence podcasts during my walking workouts. It’s been a year, and I’m still listening.

What I learned is that confidence is a skill, and that if I developed this skill, I could become a better writer, in ways that I couldn’t by simply studying craft and the industry. For example, with more confidence, I’d be able to listen objectively and not get defensive when my critique group members gave me notes on my pages, and because of this, my writing would improve.

I also learned that confidence is doing something even when you’re scared. This means querying even if you’re terrified of rejection, starting a new project when you’re afraid of the blank page, or approaching that agent at the cocktail event, even though your legs are trembling beneath your maxi dress.

Another thing I learned is that confidence isn’t a skill that stays with you permanently, like riding a bike. It’s something you have to work at. In other words, just because you have confidence one day, it doesn’t mean you’re going to feel strong and confident the next day. That said, listening to confidence podcasts has taught me to be kinder to myself when I’m having an off-writing day or when my book isn’t selling on Amazon, and it’s taught me to expect ups and downs.

I’ve also learned to avoid things that undermine my writing confidence. Things like comparing myself to other writers. And I now reward myself for my small successes.

What I’m trying to say is that building your confidence might seem hokey, silly, and basic. With concerns like creating your author platform, dealing with Amazon negative reviews, and getting through the muddy middle of your novel and the editing process, who has time for pep talks and self-care? I do. I’ve learned that a more confident me is a better me, and a better me is a more productive, happier, and more successful writer.

Below are some confidence podcasts

1. The Confidence Chronicles with Erica Cramer
2. The Confidence Podcast with Trish Blackwell
3. Mind You Midlife with Cheryl Fischer
4. The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes
5. Write Now with Sarah Werner

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed my post. If you have a confidence or inspirational podcast that helps you with your writing or just life in general, please feel free to share, or just answer my questions. What do you do to silence negative thoughts when it comes to your writing? Do you think you can be a successful writer if you’re not confident? Thanks!